Call me a liar. A disappointment. No wait. Don’t call me a liar. That’s a fallacy. :> But a disappointment? I’m used to that. What promises have I broken? usually has to do with tardiness. haha. I’m late, but never too late. What does it have to do with the promising title? Nadda. Being random as usual. And you lurves it. No time for denial here friends. :p
What do you call a person who goes in to a relationship, with an unforeseen future, a long and wide age gap, a person who stays with another person who is completely different, the opposite almost to the ideal person, a person who is completely devoted to another person who’s the opposite end of the spectrum? Blind? no. I can see the pretty face. Stupid? My IQ’s enough.I hope. In love? HoleyMotherLover, Yes. Human? Amen.
I am a being of contradictions. Have I ever denied that? No. But my imaginary Jims and Sals say it’s a quality which is quite endearing. How? You’ll have to ask me on the next plane home from Jakarta.
I like to be sure. It doesn’t matter that at times I’m indecisive. I think that’s more reason why I like to be sure. I like reassurance. I’m open-minded, sure. But I have values. Not to say that open-minded people don’t have any it’s just that… okay. Scratch that. Let me put it this way. If you would have presented to me this situation months ago, this would be the most likely outcome:
If you don’t choose me, then I’ll wish you luck. But if it is me that you want… Wait a second, I’ll check my schedule.
Taray noh? But now it’s like, I love you, I think you have doubts, but I love you anyway. And yes, I’m staying. I’m a sheep. You’re a rooster. My Chinese ancestors tell me it’s not going to work – a disaster. Do I care? Of course. Am I doing anything regarding that matter? No. Does it make me feel a bit cautious? Yes. Am I backing out? NO. I’m rational. That’s why my friends would say I’ a man- I think like a man. Now, just because I’m rational doesn’t make me a member of the male species. I know some men out there who are immature, but claims that they were not born yesterday. But I apparently am emotional and sensitive like a woman… now what does that make me? androgynous?
Anyway, my question is, why do we stay in relationships when we know they have a lot to work with, and we know we can get so much more when we get out? Is it just love? or is it something else?
Because I know all these things like my family would disapprove if they find out, or that my new partner has a lot of issues that I, at the time being, can not identify with. I keep denying, in our conversations, that our age gap wouldn’t bother us in the future or that it doesn’t bother me. And it really doesn’t in general, in fact I’ve always been attracted to people older than I am but there are just some things like experiences and emotions and rollercoasters that I, myself have not been put in. So there are times, which I am not used to, that I just am not given any other choices but to keep silent. Not only becasue at times I don’t think I’m in a place to say anything but alsoe because, well, what is there or me to say? I don’t want to open my mouth and say something stupid so. You know what I mean?
Do tell me you opinions as this is getting too long. LOL. And thanks.
